I have reached the point in my life where I look back on the child I was and mostly adore her. I didn't say teenager- so hold your rebuttals people. Perhaps it is because I have lived long enough to feel like it was another life. Sometimes even another person. But I remember it. I remember these two elderly ladies like it was yesterday. Mom used to take me to the care center all of the time. They are very familiar to me. The cute little girl on the lower right, well... that's me. She seems almost less familiar. I think this might be because my memory of my childhood isn't like a dream where you're a spectator in your own life. No, it's from the inside out. I remember what I saw and felt and so I remember those around me. They were defining who I was, what the world was & what I felt. That was my reality. That would explain why I almost don't remember that little girl in front and why I think she is adorable in the way you think of other people's children. As if complimenting her isn't complimenting myself. I can remember her disappointments, fears and frustrations and I want to make it all better for her- like I am her mother. I think this is good.
Don't fear flashback Friday.
I promise not to wax philosophical every time.
4 comments:
Very thoughtful - you are a profound thinker, as I've mentioned many times. I too love the girl in the picture, as well as the woman that she is now and is still becoming.
Plus she's cute and a bionically great kisser...
You were such a cute little girl scout. Mom was/is such a good example of caring for the elderly.
I remember standing on the shore of the boise river when it was in a major flood stage, and a huge rock was being pushed down the middle of the river it made a huge noise as it did... this rock was funny shaped like a lambchop with one long pointed end. It came to rest where the river slows above julie davis park in boise. when the river dropped we childeren would play on this rock and run up and jump off it into the river. Over the years the processes in the river turned it first into a sand bar and eventually into an island, hundereds of feet long with trees and birds and all the rest. but it started with that bolder coming to rest in just the right place. you remind me of this event in the boise river. if it isn't obvious to you why, or if you just need a few honest compliments, ask me why when i see you again... thanks for being who you are ging. oh by the way this is shawn not gabber.
You will probably slap me for this comment, but the other day I had a moment where I felt a little old. I realized that I remember 20 years ago. That might not sound like a HUGE deal to most people on the earth, but that was a huge realization for me. 20 years ago, and I remember it???? But the reason I am writing this to you is that this post really struck a cord with me. I love your words and I LOVE the way you write about remembering. You put this so lovely and I couldnt have even come close to putting my thoughts in this much order, you said it perfectly for me.
Sometimes remembering is a hard thing, like we almost regret, or like we missed it. So many times we wish we could go back and fix it all or change it all or just relive it. But your thoughts here help to calm that feeling, like, it is ok. I can move forward because that little girl did ok. And she really, really, really only needs to go through all of that once.
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